The Trouble with Xander
by Jeffrey Patrick
Summary: When Xander is bitten by a strange creature, he finds himself on the run with the one who got away. *Complete*
1. Default Chapter

Title: The Trouble with Xander (1 of 3)  
  
Author: Jeffrey Patrick  
  
Type: Not a shipper story... yet. Just plain old action.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but a Polaroid of the Taco Bell dog and some lederhosen. Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and the folks at the WB own Buffy and related characters.  
  
Feedback: Yes, please.  
  
  
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Buffy was in trouble. Whatever the creature was that was attacking her, it was strong. It had a body like a lion's, but it's head was more wolf-like. It had her shoulders pinned to the ground, as it breathed its foul breath in her face.  
  
"You know, "she said, getting her legs under it and kicking hard. "You could use a tic-tac." The creature landed hard against the trunk of a tree. The tree shook violently, knocking leaves and two members of the Scooby Gang loose. Buffy would have laughed if they hadn't landed so close to the wounded beast. Xander landed on his back. Willow landed on top of him.  
  
"Are you okay?" Willow asked Xander.  
  
"Ung... Will be... once... elbow... removed from ribcage."  
  
"Oh. Sorry."  
  
"You two get away from that thing!" Buffy yelled. It was far too late. The beast pounced. Xander managed to shove Willow clear of the demons jaws, but they found his forearm and clamped down tight. The razor sharp fangs sliced through flesh. Xander cried out in pain. The bone snapped in the creature's mouth.  
  
Buffy covered the distance between them in less than a second. She jumped on top of the creature and tried to stake it, but the hide was too tough. She could see blood leaking from the monster's mouth and she felt sick knowing it was Xander's. She felt completely helpless until she saw Spike running her way with a battle axe.  
  
"Spike... Throw it!"  
  
The vampire launched the axe in a high arc. It spun and until it came down blade first in the creature's skull. There was the sickening sound of torn flesh and cleaved bone just before the creature howled in pain. As soon as it did, Xander was free. Willow tried to move him from the scene of battle, but was having a difficult time. Thankfully, Spike lent a hand.  
  
Buffy was thrown from the creature's back, but managed to dislodge the axe before she fell. She came at it relentlessly, and within minutes, the creature was dead.  
  
"That was quite the nasty bugger," Spike said, as she joined the others. "Don't think I've ever seen one before. Would have taken Droopy's arm off if I hadn't intervened."  
  
Buffy ignored him and went straight to Xander. "How is it?"  
  
"Oh," he moaned, through gritted teeth. "On a scale of one to ten? About a 3... thousand."  
  
"He's losing blood," Willow said. "We need to get him to the emergency room."  
  
"Then let's roll. I'll get him out of the park and near the main entrance. Will, you find a phone and call an ambulance."  
  
"On it," Willow said, making a run for a payphone she had seen on the other side of a crop of trees.  
  
"Spike, go with her," Buffy instructed. "I don't like her being out here alone. If anything happens to her, I'll have your head."  
  
"Fine," Spike said, taking off after her.  
  
Buffy inspected Xander's arm. "Looks bad."  
  
"Really?" Xander said sarcastically, wincing with pain. "Because it feels great."  
  
"C'mon," she said, putting his good arm around her shoulder. "Lean on me in case you faint."  
  
"What was that thing?" Xander asked with a sudden shiver.  
  
"I have no idea. We'll put Giles to work on it after we get you fixed up."  
  
"You think there are more of them?"  
  
"I hope not. Those suckers are mean."  
  
"Tell me ab... out i...t...."  
  
"Xander?" Buffy took all of his weight. He had passed out. His arm was still pouring blood. She swung him over her shoulder and began running for the entrance. "Hold on, Xander. Just hold on."  
  
  
  
  
Xander woke up in the hospital. Willow was in a chair at the foot of his bed, sleeping soundly. Buffy was to his left, reading a magazine. "Buff?"  
  
"Hey there, sleepy head." She stood up and took his hand. "How do you feel?"  
  
"I used to use my hands. But that right arm isn't feeling so great." She smiled at him. "Where's Anya?" He asked.   
  
"She's here. She ran down to the cafeteria for coffee. We were all worried about you. You've been out for three days."  
  
"Three days? Oh my God! My job..."  
  
"Is fine. Anya called and told them you were mugged in the park and had your arm all sliced up."  
  
"Okay. And who calmed her down long enough to make that happen?"  
  
"Well, Will and I figured it would help if she could focus on something."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Willow stirred and then looked up at them. "Hmmm.... Awake?" She mumbled.  
  
"Two of us are," Xander said, smiling at her.  
  
"Sorry. I just couldn't stay awake any longer."  
  
"She hasn't left your side since we brought you here," Buffy said.  
  
"Neither has she," Willow added.  
  
"Wow. You guys must have been really worried about me."  
  
"Are you kidding?" Buffy asked. "You're a founding Scooby and our best friend. You didn't wake up for three days because of some infection in your bloodstream. Of course we were worried."  
  
"And bonus... You seem to have developed quite the reputation, because your room is always full of women," Willow added.  
  
"Cool," he said, closing his eyes. "Guys, I'm feeling a bit tired. Could I rest another minute before Anya gets back."  
  
"Sure," Willow said, tucking him in. "We'll wait for Anya outside."  
  
"You okay?" Buffy asked. "Do we need to get the doctor?"  
  
"No. I think he'll notice I'm conscious when he comes in. Just send Anya in when she gets back."  
  
"It's a deal."  
  
  
  
A week later, everything seemed back to normal. Xander had a cast on his arm, but the doctors had given him a clean bill of health. Buffy and the rest of the gang had found a few more victims that matched the one they had found they night they were attacked in the park. She and Giles assumed that there was another of those creatures about, and were researching to see if they could determine exactly what they were dealing with. Xander happened to be in the Magic Box when they found their answers.  
  
"Oh, Good Lord!"  
  
"He always says that," Buffy mumbled. "And I never like it."  
  
"It's a Cendar'esh. A wolf-like demon minion of the Jen'tar race of demi-gods," Giles said. "They are very powerful. "  
  
"No kidding?" Xander quipped. "I would never have guessed after it bit through my arm like a Scooby snack."  
  
"Do they run in packs?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Not typically," Giles answered. "They are usually only two or three. And..."  
  
"Yes, Suspense Guy?" Xander questioned.  
  
"Well, from your description of the creature, it would seem you faced... Well, a baby."  
  
"A baby?" Buffy was obviously shocked. "That thing was huge. How big is the mother?"  
  
Giles turned the book around to show them the picture. It was a gatefold. He unfolded it three times. Xander and Buffy just stared with their mouths hanging open. Xander was the first to speak.  
  
"Okay. I'll go break my lease and pick you guys up around 9-ish to catch a freight train outta this berg."  
  
"We cannot run from this," Giles protested.  
  
"Are you sure?" Buffy asked. "Because, for once, Xander's plan seems to be the sensible one."  
  
"That, in and of itself, is more frightening than the Cendar'esh."  
  
"Hey!" Xander said.  
  
"So what do we do?" Buffy asked. "I mean, how do you kill THAT?"  
  
"Yes, well, therein lies our problem."  
  
"Problem?" Xander asked. "That's my least favorite word, and you use it all the time."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Gang, let's focus here." Buffy looked back at the picture and frowned grimly. "What exactly is the problem, aside from the obvious 'I'm a hundred feet tall and you're not' issue?"  
  
"Well, apparently, an adult Cendar'esh can only be killed by a Jin'tesh."  
  
"The new age music guy?" Xander asked.  
  
"Not John Tesh," Buffy corrected. Then, to Giles. "What is a Jin'tesh?"  
  
"A Jin'tesh is one infected with the Cendar'esh's blood."  
  
"I know I'm gonna hate myself for asking this," Xander said. "But exactly how does one get infected."  
  
"Er, um... Through a bite usually."  
  
Buffy turned to Xander. "Can you ever stay out of trouble?"  
  
"Hey! I climbed the friggin' tree trying to stay out of it's way. YOU'RE the one that threw him into the trunk and shook us out."  
  
"Only AFTER you insisted on coming with me."  
  
"Could you two stop for a moment?" Giles asked. "We'll figure something out. I'm moderately certain."  
  
"Great," Xander said. "That's just...."  
  
  
  
  
"Great going, Xander." Anya was pacing the floor. "Glory's been laying low. Vamp activity is down. You just had to find trouble didn't you?"  
  
Xander walked across his apartment and put his arms around her. "It'll be fine. The plan is to track the thing first. While Giles is doing that, Buffy and I are going to come up with a fool proof plan to get me close enough to kill the thing without getting myself killed."  
  
"We could leave town."  
  
"Yeah. Strangely, they didn't go for that plan."  
  
"Who cares? We can leave tonight. Just you and me and the open road."  
  
"With a hundred foot tall monster tracking us and no Buffy in sight? Thanks, but no thanks."  
  
"Well, what are you going to do?"  
  
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I don't want you to stay here. If I know you're in danger, I'm likely to do something stupid..er."  
  
"Well, I'm not gonna leave you to fight this thing alone."  
  
"I.. uh,.. I won't be alone."  
  
"So the gang gets to stay, but I can't?"  
  
"No. The gang isn't staying."  
  
"Then, who's gonna.... No. No way!"  
  
"An, it's just for a few nights."  
  
"No. You stay at her place with her mother and sister."  
  
"That's precisely why I CAN'T stay there."  
  
"I don't like it. I HATE it."  
  
"Hey," he said, kissing her tenderly. "I'm YOUR guy. You have nothing to worry about from Buffy or anyone else. I just need to kill this thing so you can come back and stay. Believe me. I don't want to be away from you, but I can't let you get hurt. I need to know you're safe."   
  
"And you promise there is nothing going on with you and Buffy?"  
  
"I swear. Now Willow and Tara said you could go with them. They're headed out tonight to visit a friend in L.A."  
  
"Okay. But if I you get killed while I'm gone, I'm never talking to you again."  
  
"Fine. Just.."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Come back to me."  
  
  
  
  
  
"I'm not sure I understand this." Buffy grabbed some popcorn.  
  
"Okay. One more time. Joey and Dawson are soul mates. Pacey and Dawson were best friends."  
  
"But now Pacey and Joey are getting it on?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"And Dawson is okay with that?"  
  
"No. But what should he do? I mean, he can't change anything," Xander said flatly.  
  
"Sure he can. If they are soul mates, he should be able to get her back."  
  
"Untrue."  
  
"What do you mean? How is that untrue?"  
  
"Because I happen to know for a fact that you can love someone and be as close as you can be without being lovers and still not get the girl."  
  
"I disagree," she said, throwing a handful of popcorn in his face. "When someone loves you, I mean truly, painfully loves you, a girl's gonna know. And then, how could she not love him too?"  
  
"It happens," he said flatly. "Now you're all caught up on the fabulous lineup of the WB."  
  
"You didn't tell me about my Tuesday night shows."  
  
"That's because I can't make heads or tails of them. I think the writers have too many irons on the fire."  
  
"Fine. Spoiled Sport."  
  
"Now that we got THAT out of the way, what's the plan for the Cendar'esh?"   
  
"We patrol in daylight. Try to spot tracks. Giles is trying to get a fix on it based on where the bodies were found."  
  
"Well, I hope he hurries. This whole deal is making me nervous. I just wish the thing would show itself, so we could..."  
  
Before he could finish his thought, a giant paw crashed through the window nearest he and Buffy and pulled him out into the night air. Suddenly, he was nearly a hundred feet in the air, and all he could see was the glowing red eyes of his captor.  
  
  
To Be Continued.... 


	2. The Trouble with Xander Pt.2

Title: The Trouble with Xander (2 of 3)  
  
Author: Jeffrey Patrick  
  
Type: Not a shipper story... close, but no changing of the status quo. Just plain old adventure and friendly interaction.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but a figurine of Rasputin carved from a potato and rubber band ball the size of Lithuania. Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and the folks at the WB own Buffy and related characters.  
  
Feedback: Yes, please. I love it. I crave. I'm a sick, sick man.  
  
  
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Xander winced as the Cendar'esh squeezed him tightly in its sharp clawed paw. It was huge, towering high above the roof of his apartment. Xander didn't look at the thing's face. He was too busy trying to figure out a way out of the mess he was in. Buffy was shouting at the creature from his balcony. Seeing that she was still in the apartment gave him an idea.  
  
"Buffy... Flares... Closet."  
  
Buffy ran to the entry closet and started digging through Xander's work things. In a box full of assorted equipment, she found three road flares. She ran to the master bathroom and rummaged through Anya's things. She came back out onto the balcony and threw an unlit flare to Xander.   
  
"Save yours for last!" She yelled.  
  
She then threw a bottle of rubbing alcohol at the enormous creature, letting it seep into its hair. A second later her flare was lit and she launched it with precision aim into the soaked fur. The creature's hip erupted in flame. It howled in agony, squeezing Xander tighter. For a second, he thought he would black out. Then Buffy let loose with a bottle of nail polish remover, followed by a second flare. The creature roared again, a guttural, demonic roar, and suddenly his grip on Xander loosened. Knowing the time was right, Xander lit the third flare pushed it hard into the creature's paw. And suddenly, he was falling.  
  
  
  
  
When Xander came to, he was in his bed. The Slayer, his friend, Buffy, lay next to him, sound asleep. He was just getting ready to wake her, when he realized he was completely naked. In a panic, he searched the floor for his clothes, but found none.  
  
"Um, Buffy?" He asked, pulling the covers to him tightly. "Buff, wake up."  
  
"Hmmm?" She looked up at him sleepily. "You're awake?"  
  
"Yes, And naked."  
  
"Oh, that."  
  
"Yes, that. What happened?"  
  
"You fell hard and got knocked out. Nothing was broken though, because of the mud left from the rains last night. I pulled you inside, took your dirty clothes off of you and put them in the washer."  
  
"YOU undressed me?"  
  
"Relax," she said with a smile. "I didn't peek... at much."  
  
"Great. Anya's gonna turn me into a frog."  
  
"I won't tell her, if you don't. Giles just came by and checked you out. He said you would be fine. He wanted to take you to the hospital again, but I didn't think we could afford to endanger the other patients."  
  
"Good thinking. God, my head hurts," he complained.  
  
"Well, it was a pretty long drop."  
  
"What happened to the Cendar'esh?"  
  
"It took off. Tried to put himself out on your building. He's hurt, but he's still out there. You know, that was smart thinking to remember the flares."  
  
"Yeah. It's amazing how well my brain can work sometimes. And it's always just when you figure I can't get any dumber."  
  
"Well, it worked. But now we have to plan B it."  
  
"And plan B would consist of...?"  
  
"You and me leaving town. We've got to get this thing out of Sunnydale and into someplace remote. Giles had a good idea. Get dressed and I'll fill you in."  
  
"Okay." Xander waited for her to exit, but she didn't move. "Hey, uh... I could use a little privacy here."  
  
"Oh. Yeah. Sorry. I'll, uh... wait in the living room."  
  
  
  
After a quick shower and some new clothes, Xander came out ready to roll. He found Buffy in the kitchen making a couple of sandwiches.  
  
"Come eat something," she said. "We're gonna be hitting the road within the hour, and we may not be stopping for a while."  
  
Xander took a seat at the table. "You really think it will be back tonight?"  
  
"No. But we don't know if there are more babies it can send for us."  
  
"Eew. Good point." He took a bite of his sandwich. "Mmm. That's good."  
  
"Thanks. Meat and cheese on bread. It's like my specialty."  
  
He picked up a chip. "And what are these crispy little things made of? Potato? What mad genius dreamed these up?"  
  
"How's the arm?" Buffy asked, knocking on the cast.   
  
"It's still attached. Itches like crazy, but it's healing. It'll probably look nasty. Lot's of scars. But they were all healing well, or they wouldn't have put the cast on."  
  
"You've kind of gotten in the habit of breaking it. I mean, first in our junior year when Drusilla attacked the library. Then a few months back, when that troll broke it. Kinda hard on it, don't ya think?"  
  
He stared at her for a few minutes. She broke eye contact for a second, then looked back at him. "What's the what, Buff? He asked her. "There's something on your mind."  
  
"It's nothing. I just... No. Never mind."  
  
"Well, we aren't going anywhere until you spill, so you might as well get it over with."  
  
"You'll only argue with me."  
  
"Uh-oh. I'm loving the sound of this already. Go ahead. Lay it on me."  
  
"I was... When I was watching you sleep, I thought about how many times you've been hurt since I blew into your life. Maybe you should get out of Sunnydale when this is over."  
  
"So you're trying to get rid of me?"  
  
She put her hand on his. "No, silly. I... What if something worse than a broken arm happens? The longer you stay here, the greater the chance that your number is gonna be up."  
  
"And I don't know that? Please. I've lived here longer than you. Do you honestly think I would have made it through high school if I hadn't been fighting back? You opened my eyes, Buff. I can't... I won't close them again."  
  
"But if something happens to you..."  
  
"It happens. But until then, we kick butt and take names. Together. If I die, then at least, I stood on the right side. And if I never make any difference..."  
  
"You do," she said quietly.  
  
"I was gonna say, if I never make any difference in anyone's life but yours... Well, than I'll die knowing it was worth it. Beats dying from eating one too many double decker chili burgers, which is my only other talent."  
  
She smiled at him. "You're something."  
  
"Ah, but what? That's what needs reckoning out."  
  
She surprised him when she put her arms around him. She kissed his cheek and laid her head on his shoulder. "Um, Buff?"  
  
She straightened up and looked confused. "Yeah?"  
  
"Don't. Okay?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're hurting, because of the whole Riley thing. I... I don't know what's going on here, but..."  
  
"What? You think I'm coming on to you?"  
  
"Well, things have been... weird between us for a while now. I'm not the only one that noticed. Willow did. So has Anya. Maybe because I'm the only guy friend you have, but..."  
  
"Shut up! I don't..." Buffy was obviously flustered. "Just forget it. Forget the whole thing. It was a friendly embrace."  
  
"After you making me dinner for the first time...."  
  
"It was a sandwich."  
  
"And removing all my clothes."  
  
"You were covered in mud."  
  
"Just talk to me about this, Buffy. I haven't been running away from you. You haven't freaked me out."  
  
"Well, you sound pretty freaked."  
  
"I'm freaked because you aren't acting like Buffy. You're acting like... Oh, I don't even know what you're acting like. But I want to talk this out. I can't be comfortable like this. There are too many unsaid things. It's weirding everybody out."  
  
"I haven't DONE anything. You can't name one thing that I've done that shows anything more than the usual friendly behavior."  
  
"You were watching me sleep."  
  
"Damn."  
  
"Buffy, I can only imagine how hard it's been on you. But we gotta get past this. Anya didn't want to leave me with you, because... Well, you know why."  
  
"I... I don't want to split anyone up."  
  
"That's awfully nice of you. What exactly DO you want?"  
  
"I don't know. I just... You always... I thought that you...."  
  
"I do." He said. She looked surprised. "And part of me always will. But I learned from the whole Willow/Cordelia situation that I can't screw up a good thing for something else just because it's an attractive offer. I'm committed to Anya. That's where I am."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Besides, before long the leftover pain from Riley leaving will be gone, and you'll realize that you didn't real feel what you thought you felt for me. I'm just a convenient target."  
  
"I hate that you feel that way."  
  
"Why? I'm flattered. Believe me. If I weren't with Anya, I'd say to hell with how Buffy really feels, I'll give it a shot. That's how shallow I am."  
  
She smiled. "So are things still weird between us?"  
  
"It'll take time," he said, picking up his sandwich. "But I'm not bailing on you. We're good."  
  
"I'm sorry for taking your clothes off."  
  
"S'okay. I was muddy."  
  
"You weren't too muddy."  
  
"Forgiven."  
  
"Sorry I peeked, too."  
  
"Okay.... Check please!"  
  
  
  
  
An hour later, Buffy and Xander were driving in Giles' convertible, heading for a cabin in the woods that the Watcher had told them about.  
  
"I could've driven," Buffy said, noting that Xander was driving one handed because of his cast.  
  
"I'm fine," Xander said. "Besides, Giles and I figured that even with one arm broken, I'm a better driver than you."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"I'm only sayin'."  
  
"Xander..."  
  
"Yeeeeeeeees?"  
  
"Thank you. For the talk, I mean. You were probably right. About everything. I... I don't want this stupid stuff to bother you or Anya."  
  
"Relax. We're good. We'll just edit the version we tell Anya and all is well."  
  
"No hard feelings?"  
  
"Zip. Now how about we focus on the killing of the monster, so I can get said girlfriend back?"  
  
"Deal. Giles seems to think it will follow us out here. The cabin is near an old gold mine, and his friend says the place is just full of dynamite."  
  
"So we lead it into the mine shaft and kablooey?"  
  
"Just like the mayor."  
  
"Good. Then all we have to do is get there... in one ... piece. Hold on!" Xander brought the car to a screaming halt. Buffy had caught site of them just after Xander slammed on the brakes. She had assumed they were going to hit them, but as the car came to a stop, she noticed they were gone.  
  
"Were those what I think they were?"  
  
"Yep," Xander said. He gazed into the darkness. He couldn't see at all except the patch of road where the headlights shined. Then suddenly there were a set of red eyes not ten feet away. To his right, another set. "Babies," he whispered. "Two of them." Then suddenly, the fully grown and charred body of the Cendar'esh appeared before their headlights.  
  
Buffy mumbled. "And mama make three."   
  
  
To Be Concluded.... 


	3. The Trouble with Xander Pt.3

Title: The Trouble with Xander (3 of 3)  
  
Author: Jeffrey Patrick  
  
Type: Not a shipper story... close, but no changing of the status quo. Just plain old adventure and friendly interaction. Plus, some old fashioned goofiness! For one low price! You'd pay up to $30 at other stores!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but a toothpick model of the Bridge over River Kwai and a watercolor rendering of Paul Simon as Ghandi. Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and the folks at the WB own Buffy and related characters.  
  
Feedback: Yes, please. I love it. I crave it beyond imagining!  
  
  
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Xander floored the gas, which sent Giles' convertible right between the back legs of the Cendar'esh. The mama apparently enjoyed standing on her hind legs, while the babies (if you could call them that) liked to run on all fours. Unfortunately, all three were fast. Too fast.  
  
"We're not gonna out run them like this," Buffy said. "We need to lose their mommy now, or we'll never make it."  
  
"Hold on," Xander said, spinning the wheel hard to the left and taking them off the road and into the woods. The trees were sparse enough for the car and the babies to pass, but it severely hampered the adult Cendar'esh's pursuit. Buffy and Xander ducked, as tree branches scraped the car and zipped over their heads. A larger one cracked the windshield.  
  
"Giles is gonna kill me," Xander muttered.  
  
"Oh, yeah," Buffy agreed. "Big time."  
  
The baby Cendar'eshes were gaining ground quickly, as Xander was forced to slow down to pick out a path through the trees.  
  
"They're gaining," Buffy said. "Where's the crossbow?"  
  
"In the back seat," Xander said. "But you gotta keep your head down. I'll feel really bad if you get it knocked off on MY watch."  
  
"I'll be careful."   
  
Buffy grabbed the crossbow and loaded a bolt. "I can barely see them in the dark," she said, trying to aim a shot.  
  
"Aim for the eyes," Xander said.  
  
She steady the crossbow and adjusted for the wild pitching of the car. She pulled the trigger and the shot was true. Almost immediately, there was a yelp from the wounded Cendar'esh baby.  
  
"The eyes have it," Buffy said. "How far to the mine?"  
  
"Your guess is as good as mine. The map is in the glove box. Giles marked it. And hurry. I'm running out of driving room."  
  
Buffy pulled the map out and was just getting ready to tell Xander that they were only about a mile west of the mine, when the second baby jumped onto the back end of Giles' car. The weight from the creature shoved the back end into the ground, causing the entire car to spin. Xander fought the wheel, but it was too late. They were headed straight for a tree. The last thought he had before impact was, "I probably should have worn a seatbelt."  
  
  
  
  
"We've got to hurry," he heard Buffy say as he came to. "That gash looks nasty. Here."  
  
She ripped off a piece of his shirt and made a bandage.  
  
"Cendar'esh?" Was all he could manage.  
  
"Out but not dead. It hit the tree head first and snapped it in two. If you hadn't been thrown from the car, it would have crushed you."  
  
"So this is GOOD luck?"  
  
"Count your blessings. Can you walk?"  
  
"With my legs?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Oh. Then, no. Probably not. They work alright, but I'm seeing three of you right now."  
  
"You'll have to try. We're sunk if we stay here."  
  
"Then lead onward, O Captain, My Captain."  
  
Buffy helped him to his feet, and they began making their way through the woods.  
  
"The cabin isn't far. Maybe there is a first aid kit," Buffy said.  
  
"A first grade kid? What does that mean?"  
  
She looked in his eyes. He definitely had a concussion. "Okay, now you're scaring me. Try to stay awake."  
  
"I'll be fine as long as you stop the car a second. I'm just a little air sick."  
  
Suddenly, there was a noise behind them.  
  
"It's coming," she said. She looked around frantically. She pointed to a mound of leaves, beneath a tree. "Lay down in there and I'll cover you with leaves."  
  
"But it's not bedtime and Willow's got my geometry homework."  
  
"Right," Buffy said, helping him lay down. "You wait here and I'll get her."  
  
"Okay," he said, as she covered him up. "But don't forget you promised me ice cream."  
  
"If you can be really quiet and stay in here for a few minutes, I'll buy you a gallon."  
  
"With sprinkles?"  
  
"Sure."   
  
Buffy turned just in time to see the creature bearing down on her. The crossbow was broken in the crash, but she had one of the bolts and Mr. Pointy to use as weapons, but looking at the creature made her doubt that it would be enough. The creature jumped for her. She dodged it and stuck the bolt deep in its side, which only served to make it angry. Before she could react, it pounced her and pinned her to the ground. The heat from its breath burned her eyes. It's weight was on her, and she couldn't kick it off as she had the first one she had encountered. She was just starting to realize that the shortest fight of her life might actually be her last, when the monster roared in agony. Then a crowbar came through his chest from the other side and the beast collapsed. Xander stood there with blood running down his face from his head wound.  
  
"Nothing like attacking the woman I... happen to be very good friends with... to clear the old cobwebs from the brain," he said, before collapsing.  
  
  
  
"Do you ever do anything but pass out?" Buffy asked, holding a wet cloth to his head. He was in a cot in the corner of a small cabin.  
  
"Do you ever do anything but watch me sleep?"  
  
"Funny. You know you saved my life out there."  
  
"Not the first time. Not the last."  
  
"How can you crack jokes? Aren't you in pain?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. But cracking jokes makes this crazy stuff easier to deal with."  
  
"Well, thank you for the save. You know, that's the trouble with you, Xander."  
  
"What is?"  
  
"That every time I think I've got you figured out, you go and surprise me."  
  
"And therein lies my sexiness."  
  
She smiled at him.  
  
"What about the mama?" Xander asked.  
  
"Still no sign of her. While you were out, I lined the mine with explosives and rigged the trigger."   
  
"How did you know how?"  
  
"Privileges of having an ex in the military."  
  
"Ah."  
  
Suddenly Buffy tensed. Xander knew immediately what it meant. "Mama?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "I'll lead it into the mine. You stay here where you're sa..."  
  
Before she could finish, on of the baby Cendar'esh came crashing through the front door. There was a crossbow bolt protruding from it's bleeding eye socket. It roared at them, a horrible noise. And suddenly, the whole cabin shook.  
  
"That's what I was feeling," Buffy said. "She's here."  
  
"Go," Xander said. "I'll have a little talk with junior here."  
  
"Xander, you can't..."  
  
He flashed her a look that said everything. If she didn't lead "mama" into the mines, Xander stood very little chance of surviving the night.   
  
"I'll need to get by it."  
  
The creature just roared at them, awaiting its mother's arrival. Xander scanned the room for a weapon. He grabbed a pick axe from the corner. "When I swing..." He started.  
  
"I'm gone."  
  
"Now!" Xander swung at the creature as hard as he could from its blind spot, sticking the pick axe deep into the creature's side. Buffy ducked underneath his swing and hit the door running. Xander could see "mama" through the door, or at least the massive creature's legs. The plan had worked. It followed Buffy.  
  
  
  
Buffy ran faster than she ever had before. She was determined to kill the loathsome creature and get back to her friend before he got himself killed. "That's it, Big Mama. Follow me," she thought.  
  
She had only had two or three minutes to get to know the layout of the mineshaft when she had laid the explosives. She ran inside, knowing the enormous thing would practically have to crawl in and might very well bring the mountain down on himself without the dynamite, but she wasn't planning on taking any chances. It was following her. Now she had to get out the other entrance and trigger the explosion.  
  
  
  
Xander was slapped by the massive paw of the wounded Cendar'esh cub, which sent him crashing through the door of the cabin and into the open. He had somehow managed to hang onto the pick axe, so he readied himself to deliver another shot. Then suddenly, the mine erupted in a loud ball of flame sending debris flying like bullets. Xander was knocked to the ground by the shockwave, but the Cendar'esh cub caught a huge rock in the side of his head. From the sickening thud, Xander knew the monster was dead.  
  
Moments later, he found the exit Buffy was to have used. It was billowing dust.  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
*cough* "Here!"  
  
He saw her and threw his arms around her. "Thank God you got out!"  
  
"Ow! Easy, Xand. Caught a rock to the side."  
  
"Sorry. Is she dead?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. Now comes the hard part."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Telling Giles about his car."  
  
  
  
  
Two days later....  
  
  
"Has he said anything yet?" Willow asked.  
  
"Nope," Xander answered, shuffling his feet. "Not a word since we told him."  
  
"He should be glad that you survived," Anya said, putting her arm around his cast. "The car means nothing."  
  
"Yeah. But when you live on the Hellmouth, monsters are old hat," Buffy said. She stopped walking long enough to throw her ice cream in the trash. "But he'll get over it."  
  
"Especially once I tell him I'm willing to work off anything insurance doesn't cover," Xander added.  
  
"Wow," Willow said. "That's awfully big of you. Is your head still making you think funny?"  
  
"No. I just figure it's the least I can do. I mean, he loaned us the car to help save the city."  
  
"Well, I think you're a good man," Willow said.  
  
"The best," Anya corrected. "And that's the trouble with you Xander. As soon as I get you figured out, you go and surprise me."  
  
"I've heard that," he said, giving Buffy a smile. She smiled back and all the awkwardness melted away. 


End file.
